I Hate My Phone Part II

I’m never alone. I am always with my phone.

Google makes my decisions for me. My friends weigh the pros and cons. Hundreds of micro-influences, little nudges, every day.  I copy them, my messaging friends, in ways large and small. Their actions and decisions and life choices. In ways I can’t understand the implication of or the impact on the greater picture of my life.

This all has to stop. I’m losing my way and failing to understand what I want. I want to be alone. I want to decide without weighing the opinions of one thousand internet strangers. I want my first reaction to any quandary that enters my mind to be, “what do you want, Lou? What do you think? How would you respond? What would you do? Why?” I want to understand myself. Why isn’t that how it is? Why can’t I make any decision without this little electronic bar in my hands? I’m a prisoner, we are attached. Linked to each other, woman and phone. I charge him. He feeds me information. I can search for whatever I want and I’ll find someone who agrees and disagrees – many someone’s. I’ll always find what I put in the search bar, so why search? So some non-expert complete stranger can complete my thoughts?

I hate my phone, and I’m sorry. Sorry that I did this to myself. Sorry that I’ve let it control my life for years.

We have to stop this unhealthy and codependent relationship. The problem is that I don’t know how. I can’t see my future without this phone. Is the answer to turn it off all day? Only turn it on when I really need it? What constitutes a need versus a want? What if something happens to my son? So I’ll leave the phone on. I just won’t look at it unless it’s my son’s caretaker that given day is contacting me? But then I’m still engaged and looking at this little rectangle all day long.

I don’t know what to do. My instinct is to search Google for the answer.

But instead I’ll send this post out into the world and then I’ll set my phone down, for awhile.

Track Lighting and 3,000 Chandeliers

You know when you’re looking online for lighting and you’re like, “Let’s see what the handmade-in-the-USA-we-treat-our-employees-not-unlike-humans-we-don’t-destroy-the-environment sites have to offer?” And then they cost like $2,000? That happens to me too! Then I go to the big box store and the options are dismal (antlers, anyone?) or how about the lovely “center bowl” style? Barf in my face. Barf down my shirt. And not to mention there are 10,000 options. Then you narrow to bronze (which is the color I want in my dining room) and oh goody, I’m down to 3,000 choices for chandeliers! THEN if you’re like me you’ll actually find an option you want only to put it in your virtual shopping cart but be too wishy washy to actually pull the trigger and when you go back to buy that light fixture two months later you find that it’s out of stock and discontinued. This has happened to me multiple times, people!

So I decided I want to replace my two dining room light fixtures. One is a lovely cream colored track lighting system from maybe 1990 if I’m being generous. It’s probably from the 1980s. It has six horrid lights. The other is directly over the dining room table and it’s very near the track light and it is a flushmount bowl style light. Exiting!! It’s bronze. I want to replace it with a chandelier that doesn’t suck and I want to replace the track lighting with more track lighting. I hate track lighting, but nothing else will really work with the space and I don’t want to go to the trouble of pulling it all down and repairing the ceiling trim that it hangs from. Actually, now I’m starting to wonder – what if the lighting is too small to cover any damaged areas? Because I want a bronze track light with only 4 lights because I think 6 is ostentatious to say the least. So I might be screwed either way. Hmmm! I think at times the space could use the extra light.

Here’s what I’m considering for track lighting:


Studio 4-Light Oiled Rubbed Bronze Dimmable Fixed Track Lighting Kit at Home Depot


allen + roth Bristow 4-Light Specialty Bronze Dimmable Fixed Track Lighting Kit at Lowe’s


allen + roth Tucana 4-Light Oil-Rubbed Bronze Dimmable Fixed Track Light Kit at Lowe’s

As far a chandeliers go, I really like this one, except it doesn’t come in bronze (definitely a sputnik knockoff):


Style Selections 18-Light Brushed Nickel Chandelier at Lowe’s

And I’m not really sure bronze would work with such a modern style anyway.

I also like this guy, who meets the criteria:


Progress Lighting Archie 2-Light Venetian Bronze Chandelier at Lowe’s|1&pl=1#BVRRWidgetID

This guy from West Elm could work, and also meets the color criteria:


Mobile Chandelier by West Elm

But it costs $279 and that just sucks. West Elm does offer 15% off coupons so I could probably get it for $238.

Then there’s this globe pendant light cluster thing, and I mean, let’s get real. That is just so cool.


Saic Together Pendant Light by CB2

I also like this after it grew on me for like 15 seconds.


Trinity Pendant Light by CB2

THEN there’s the delicate and perfect lighting of my dreams:


Chesapeake Chandelier by Schoolhouse Electric



Brass City Chandelier by Schoolhouse Electric

Then I start to wonder, with any of those chandelier options being so awesome, how will the stupid track lights stand up to them?! They won’t! So yeah. I still have no clue. If you feel like talking me into something, feel free! Now I’m starting to wonder, have I ever posted about this before…?

i hate my phone

What was I missing

When I would wait for your message on my answering machine

I would sit alone, lonely in that moment

But loved in my life

Nothing to check

What was I doing

When I would wait for you to meet me

I would be where I was, discontent in that moment

But content in my life

Nothing to compare

What was I thinking

When I would dream of what could be between us

I would drift away, lost in that moment

But present in my life

Nothing to lose

Dining Room Chairs

So the chairs literally arrived overnight. They seem to have shipped from a city in my state though, so I guess that explains the speedy delivery (MR. ROGERS). Anyway I think it’s rad because shipping was free!!

Once I got home from work we assembled both chairs. They come in two pieces each – the top and the bottom. And they attach with screws and an Alan wrench.  

They work really well with the color of the walls and the table (both gray, unsurprisingly). The walls are Behr Dolphin Fin. 

They’re also really comfortable to sit in which is a bit surprising. 

I was disappointed but not at all surprised to notice that they were not made in the USA. Just thought I would call myself out on that.😦


This project would be pretty easy to DIY. I would look for Windsor chairs at the thrift store or flea market if you have the time, and paint them a satin or gloss mint color. Spring Mint by Benjamin Moore looks close to the color of my chairs. 

The next step is the dining bench. I haven’t done much research beyond looking at IKEA bench options. There are a few under $100 that might work.